As a man that had sex with a woman, what are the risks of having an unwanted baby if:

  • the vaginal sex was unprotected at some point, but without ejaculating inside
  • she was on birth control pills (at least that's what she said)
  • both of us had drank alcohol before that
  • she has let me know her period came 4-5 days later
  • also 1 month later, she assured me that she is on period again, so she's NOT pregnant (meanwhile I had called her and insisted that she would take a test, she was almost amused by my worry)
  • she's 43 (I'm 28)
  • she's married, also has a child, which makes her more unlikely to want to get pregnant with me; she assured me that she doesn't want to and she would rather have an abortion, but it's not the case because she's experienced enough to know she is not pregnant

Now, 5 months passed since the sexual contact, I didn't keep in touch with her, but in the recent days I started getting worried again about it. I may sound a little bit paranoid, but I realize that many factors make such a pregnancy almost impossible. It would only be a risk if she would be crazy enough to hide it from me or if she wouldn't really know she is pregnant. I don't really want to get in contact with her again, it's just this worry... and I'm not sure if it would really disappear if she would re-assure me again everything's alright. It's just out of my control. But, also, from a moral point of view, I guess I can consider that I "did my duty" about it: I asked, I insisted she'd take a test (although she didn't) etc. I'm trying to be as objective and realistic as possible about this. So, please, no superficial answers :) Thank you!

1 Answer 1


She had two periods afterwards so she is not pregnant.

Who are you to demand that she take a test? You pretty much called her a liar when you did that. If you can't or won't accept her at her word about being on birth control, not being pregnant, etc, then I recommend you quit sleeping with women you have such a low opinion of.

  • Who am I to demand she takes a test? I consider it a normal action, regarding the fact that it's a potential problem I'm involved in. Sorry, but that part sounded a little bit feminist. Anyway, thank you for your answer.
    – user334701
    Jul 15, 2016 at 14:21
  • 6
    @user334701 There's nothing feminist about it. You can't go around demanding that other people take medical tests, especially not when you have no relationship with her and waited 5 months to give a damn.
    – Carey Gregory
    Jul 15, 2016 at 15:01
  • I actually asked her that at a short time after it happened - ~4-5 months ago.
    – user334701
    Jul 16, 2016 at 0:56
  • 2
    @user334701 Whatever. You still can't demand that other people take medical tests to satisfy your worries.
    – Carey Gregory
    Jul 16, 2016 at 1:10
  • just wonder: when would one has a right to ask others for tests? This man is afraid of future responsibility, and until having a doctor's sign everything is just word. From a legal point of view I think he has a right to stop the problem before it's too late?
    – Ooker
    Mar 8, 2019 at 13:15

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