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I do 8 hours of work sitting before a computer.

Because of no work or only performing a few actively-mobile jobs; I was sitting idle for last one month. I've gotten new work since then, but I do not want to do it for the below-listed reasons.

Symptoms I'm experiencing include:

My mind remains clouded, full of white noise, and I always feel like going outside. Even after I return, I immediately want to leave. The muffled sensation in my ears is not helped by cleaning.

After months of no work, I feel torpid and completely lack motivation; I am forgetful about what little I do feel motivated to involve myself in. My self-esteem has taken a steep downturn, as well.

Could anyone please explain whether any of this are symptoms of insanity or just depression?

  • I do 8-10h each day for over 15 years and I'm fine. so track the problem somewhere else (like what you eat or what you do). Do hair tissue mineral analysis for metal heavy metal poisoning and start from there, this usually gives clouded mind thinking. – kenorb Jul 16 '15 at 9:30
  • Are you idle for 15 years? – fatherazrael Jul 16 '15 at 12:23
  • Not sure what do you mean idle. You have to do something if you're sitting in front of the computer, otherwise it's more sense to sit in front of the wall which would be fairly the similar. There are many reasons, but not sitting it-self. For instance, my friend had clouded mind and not clear thinking, because of some dental problems. – kenorb Jul 16 '15 at 12:58
  • Doing nothing. Or Browsing for nothing. nothing comes in mind. Nothing goes. Facebook if open that is nothing, scrolling and scrolling, means nothing in the mind. changing firefox tabs from one tab and write google.com and then nothing. open another firefox and open google.com again then another tab opnen and facebook .com or something.com and when homepage load do nothing. mean clueless opening and idle man opening or devils opening or you can say nothing. – fatherazrael Jul 16 '15 at 13:01
  • Then try changing your life, work or profession. You could also have hormone imbalance, so try 5-HTP (made from seeds) to trick your brain into producing more serotonin and see if that helps for you. – kenorb Jul 17 '15 at 10:00
5

I've suffered from depression quite a few years in my life. One basic long-term cause I have found is my basic worldview - whether I see reality as fundamentally "good" or "bad". This takes a long time to improve.

But in the short term, I find my feelings strongly influenced by my ability to effectively respond to what life has brought along. If I set twenty goals and fail at all in a row, I tend to feel pretty low, whereas if I succeed then I tend to feel alright. When I advise students beginning research in chemistry, for example, I suggest that if they start to get frustrated to go "wash the dishes". This is helpful because washing the glassware is an activity where success is very likely, whereas chemical research can be fraught with disappointments easily beyond the ability of a novice (or even expert) chemistry student to predict.

What we are seeing here is a phenomenon called learned helplessness. Since it affects rodents it should come as no surprise that it affects us too. All it amounts to is a basic learning process that generalizes recent failure at a particular task to be a reduced ability to accomplish all tasks. Unlike rodents, though, we have the advantage of seeing through reason that the depressed feelings are unjustified, and acting out of reason in spite of how we feel. Students with difficult or impossible chemistry research assignments can still know themselves as competent chemists and worthwhile people.

It could also be burn out. How long have you been at the same computer-related occupation? I've been an application developer for the last ten years myself, but my life is full of other activities outside of work. Your desire to be outside may be your healthy need for a variety of activities. This would be a good time to go camping. It sounds like you are ready for a career change too, but you will need peace of mind and vision to lead you to the next one. That's my main advice - do what it takes to relax so you can reflect and know what to do.

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    Great idea about washing dishes. I remember that when I felt totally helpless, going to the beach nearby and lighting a fire using primitive methods gave me a great sense of accomplishment that helped counter that feeling of helplessness. For some it is washing dishes, for others, it is building a fire, anything which makes us feel competent again. – Victor Jul 13 '15 at 19:54
  • @Chris Jenks I am 5+ years old in this profession. I am feeling bored of it. I am not mathematical freak. For last two days i am again Idle. I have facebook but how much i can browse. I read news, and have less work. I want to get out of office but in office we are restricted to complete 7 hours. Can't sit in cafe and enjoy tea whole day. No motivation from seniors to research on something even no self motivation. I am type of guy who do work when someone loads and do perfectly. So finding that self motivation. Don;t know how to achieve that – fatherazrael Jul 14 '15 at 13:15
  • @fatherazrael - Do you have time that you could consider volunteering to do something? I find it makes a profound difference to how I feel if I am focused on assisting others than if I am left to contemplate my life, even if my circumstances are otherwise the same. You like to be outdoors - this would be a good time to go camping. It sounds like you are ready for a career change too, but you will need peace of mind and vision to lead you to the next one. That's my main advice - do what it takes to relax so you can reflect and know what to do. Let me add that to my Answer. – Chris Jenks Jul 14 '15 at 18:11
  • Thanks looking for right time where hit upon an idea comes into mind. Regarding volunteering Before message, yes. After marriage, No. Spend rest time in four walls two days in week go for outing in malls or parks; but that outing does not fresh my mind. Some weekend outings to mountains(not always once in two to three months) do give some freshness ;but not much. – fatherazrael Jul 15 '15 at 3:40

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