So basically I'm a late 20's male, newly married (since 3 weeks), having 2 problems: 1-My wife (virgin, early 20's) have a thick hymen (my guess). First three times we tried to have intercourse she felt so much pain and each time she bled (not much), till now each time we try penetration she feel intolerable pain and screams VERY loudly (to the point that i get scared for her well-being). I tried to insert my finger there, it went smoothly with some minor discomfort on her side, then i tried 2 fingers, it went through also with some minor pain. We tried to apply an Anesthetic Gel (Lidocaine) on her hymen area, but it didn't help the pain. Also we tried "Durex Play" lube but she felt very bad burning (obviously "Play" does not Play nice with cuts) At this point i'm out of ideas and don't know what to do.
2-My second problem is: We take our time during foreplay, mostly i give her oral (around 15-20 mins), during that time i'm rock hard, when she gets really wet and i try to penetrate, the moment i approach and get in the right position, i got flaccid :( it is like magic ! It is happening every time now !
Any help regarding the 2 problems would be much appreciated :(